Blood's Voice Page 3

  Chapter Two

  “Anya dear, there are a few things from before I thought might interest you. When you didn’t return, I took over maintaining your funds for you. I kept hoping you’d return and well, I figured that you would want your life back.”

  He took out an expensive leather briefcase and handed it to me. “Inside you will find all your financial records, access codes, cards, et all.” He winked. “Hope you don’t mind, but I invested here and there for you, so you actually own more than you did.” The grin spreading across his face was too precious.

  “I own things? Money? Huh.” Weird, all I’d had until then was what Star had given me, not that she thought much of money.

  He was laughing again, “Yes, dear. You are rather wealthy and have a couple of homes around the country, even a cottage with land in Ireland.”

  “I do? Wow. Thank you, truly.” I didn’t know what else to say. I had been missing for nearly three decades and all this time he took care of my affairs for me. Wow.

  “Well, it’s not mine to keep, Anya. And it was the least I could do for you.” He looked down as he finished his thought. Weird, why would he do that?

  “Nicholas? Is something wrong? You keep giving me the oddest looks, and now you are staring at the floor, again. Did I do something wrong?” I was becoming truly confused; a feeling I seriously disliked.

  “It’s complicated Anya. Honestly, it no longer applies, at least not for you, it doesn’t.” He was still not meeting my eyes.

  I took his face in my hands and gently raised it until he had no choice but to look at me. “Nicholas, what is it that troubles you so? Please, tell me?” I cheated by allowing my voice to be strong enough for its power to work on him.

  “That’s not fair Anya. You know what you’re doing.” He seemed to be struggling to break the ‘spell’ of my voice.

  With conviction and wistful longing, I whispered, “Please.”

  His eyes unfocused as he finally spoke, again. “I don’t want to tell you, but you leave me no choice. I was honest, but misleading when we spoke before. We were best friends, but we were more than that. We were not lovers in the traditional couple's sense, but we were more than just friends.

  “We shared a different bonding. I have spent thirty years without you and now that I have you back . . . the cravings for continuing it are becoming nearly painful.

  “Please don’t make me continue to tell you this way.” He whispered his plea, “Please.”

  “I’m sorry Nicholas, truly. I should not do that to you. Speak only what you choose. Forgive me, please.” I was extremely careful to control my voice so that no command or persuasion was had. I dropped my hand and now it was me that looked down, ashamed.

  “It’s okay Anya. I shouldn’t have brought it up in the first place, and you wouldn’t have felt the need to push for answers. But, it’s too late to take back.” Nicholas took my hand as he continued.

  “We shared something that most vampires won’t ever share; we shared . . . blood.” He finally looked me in the eyes as he whispered the last word.

  “We, what?” I blinked hard trying to make his words make sense and failing.

  “We are able to feed in a cycle from each other, it’s just very uncommon. You see, you share more than you probably can imagine. The weaker of the pairing gains strength, though the stronger one is not weakened in the process.

  “It doesn’t satiate thirst nor is it filling, but well . . . it sort of bonds the souls in a way that goes beyond lovers or family. You don’t remember me at all, but I cannot forget you,” he choked out. Taking a deep breath to steady himself, he continued.

  “What makes it even worse is that I can feel the power of the blood within you and I know you’ve done the same, in your absence, with a much more powerful vampire.” He looked devastated, as if he had been lied to and cheated on all at the same time.

  I didn’t know what to say. We fed off each other.

  “Wha . . . Why? Why would we have done that? And what do you mean you can feel the power of my blood?” I couldn’t wrap my head around his words. I was dazed into stillness.

  Nicholas put his hand under my chin to raise my face to him. “I am not trying to make things harder for you. Honest. It’s hard for me to explain, much less justify, why I’m even telling you.” He took another deep breath. “The why we started doing it isn’t the point. With no memories, the explanation would make no sense to you, trust me.” A faint smile crept into his eyes.

  “The thing is, I can feel the difference, and that makes it even harder to know that you not only have forgotten me and everything from before but . . . that you joined with another. You don’t remember, but we had always sworn that we would never do that with anyone else.” He sounded miserable.

  “Ok, so let me try to understand. You are not upset that I might become involved with someone in a romantic sense or even a physical sense, but rather you are upset because it seems that in the decades I was missing, of which I have no memory, I joint fed with someone more powerful? Did I get everything correct?” My voice was flat, dead. I was beyond confused at this point. Beyond whether it was true or not, beyond why I would’ve done that, I was struggling with a sudden craving to do exactly what he described.

  “No, please understand. I’m not angry with you. You’re right, I have no idea what happened while you were gone nor do I know what would have led you to making such a choice.

  “I’m not angry, I’m . . .” He shook his head slowly, sadly. “I’m envious of whoever it was.” Shame took his face again. “Not of the power, of the joining, the . . . I can’t explain it. You have to experience it to understand. I wish I could . . .” His eyes were alight with a strangely driving fire. The look ignited a strange passion in me, making me truly crave this exchange with him.

  “You should go home, before I do something stupid.” He walked to the window, looking out, turning entirely from my sight.

  “If you think it’s the right thing.” My heart quietly ached. I didn’t want to leave him, not now, not like this. “I don’t want to go away with you still upset with me,” I whispered.

  “Oh, Anya, I’m not upset with you.” He was still looking out the window. “I’m upset with myself. I promised myself, I wouldn’t bring this up. I cannot expect you to understand, nor can I hold you to an agreement that you didn’t make.” He put his hand against the window frame, standing with his shoulders rolled in sadness.

  “I will go with you Friday, if you want me to, but right now I need to be alone, please.” He turned, I could see the misery in his eyes as he asked me to leave.

  I didn’t want to leave. I wanted to stay right there, find some way to make things better for him. What kind of person was I that I would betray someone so beautiful?

  Slowly I walked toward Nicholas, grasping his shoulder. “Nicholas, I am sorry for the pain that I have caused and am causing you. I cannot take back whatever it is that I did. I am acutely sorry for that. I’ll go if that is what you want but, please do not give up on our friendship. I cannot explain it, but I – I need you.” I stretched up to kiss his cheek and then quietly turned to leave.

  Once I left, I fled into the forest. I ran, ran faster and farther than I had ever gone before – well, that I could remember anyway. Ran to be away from his pain . . . ran to forget . . . ran to remember. Nothing helped.

  I didn’t go home that night or to school the next day. I ignored my cell. Once I grew tired of running, I found a quiet place to sit and think. How had the evening started so well yet ended with the breaking of a good man’s heart? Is there anything I can do to make things better? To fix the pain that I caused before, in my other life?

  The following night I returned to Star, not sure what to say to her but knowing I must have caused her worry.

  “Star,” I called out as I entered our home.

  “Oh, there you are!” Her relief was so thick in her voice it distorted her words. “Where have you been? Nicholas came by early t
his morning trying to find you. He said you left upset because of something he said but wouldn’t tell me what.

  “He was very upset that you hadn’t come back after you left his house and he has called me again and again. He even tried going up to your school but said you weren’t there either. What happened? Where were you? What is going on?”

  She finally stopped long enough for me to get in a word. “I’m sorry I worried you, truly. I didn’t know how to deal with what he said and how much pain he was in when he asked me to leave. I should have called or at least sent you a message to let you know, I just needed time.” I hung my head as I tried to find a way to explain.

  “Nicholas took care of things for me, in the thirty or so years, I have been missing. He gave me access to the accounts he said were mine as well as the legals for all my assets, including a few homes, by the way.

  “After that, he started acting weird, and I stupidly forced him to tell me what was upsetting him. I feel horrid that I used my voice on him. What was I thinking?

  “Anyway, he told me though I did negate the coercion. I wish I could explain . . . I cannot even fully understand myself.”

  “Wait, you ran away because you felt guilty for forcing him to tell you why he was upset? That doesn’t make sense.” She looked beyond confused.

  “No, I needed time to try to deal with my thoughts and feelings about what upset him. Not just the fact he was upset but the why. Did he tell you anything about the problem?”

  “No, he just seemed distraught that you hadn’t returned, and he’s been more upset each time we’ve talked; that you hadn’t returned and that you were still refusing calls. Can you please tell me what’s going on?” The pleading in her voice did nothing to calm the confusion in her eyes.

  “Wonderful. First I hurt him by doing something wrong during the time I lost, and now I upset him by taking the time to think through what happened.” Could I be any more hurtful on accident?

  “I’m sorry for worrying you Star; that wasn’t right. Worse than your worry is that, I caused him pain. He’s been so kind to me.

  “He really did not tell you what the problem is, did he? I would try to explain, but it seems the issue is not common even among vampires. He said he did not want to talk about it here, so I assume it’s something he does not want discussed with anyone else. He even chose his home, pointing out that Jonathan and Amber were gone, to talk.” What to do . . .

  “If it is something that private, I will respect your privacy. But, please, don’t disappear again like that. And, could you please call Nicholas? I wasn’t worried until he showed up; I had assumed you got to visiting and lost track of time. But Nic, he is really worried.”

  “All right, I will call. And, promise not to do like that again.”

  I walked upstairs to my room to call him. Star’s hearing is better than a human’s is, but it’s not as sensitive as ours is, nor can she speak at the speeds we are capable of.

  I sat in the centre of my bed – not that I used it for sleeping, but it was comfortable – staring at my phone, trying to think of what to say. I rang Nicholas’s number and waited.

  “Hello?” His voice sounded reserved.

  “Hello, Nicholas. This is Anya.”

  “Oh, thank you! Are you okay? Are you back?” He didn’t pause but for the need to inhale to continue.

  “Nicholas, stop. Please. I’m fine. I am not upset with you. I’m back; in fact, I am sitting in my room right now. I’m so sorry I worried you and Star; that wasn’t my intention. Would you be willing to speak with me tonight?”

  He was laughing at this point. I could hear the relief as it settled into him. “I’m on my way now Anya. Be right there!”

  Not a minute later, I heard him outside. Meeting him at the door, I let him inside.

  “See, I am fine. You two can stop worrying now.” I smiled.

  “I wasn’t worried something happened to you, I was worried you might’ve been so upset that you might not come back, at least not for a long time. I didn’t mean to send you away, I just didn’t know how to deal right then.” His face was a mixture of relief and worry. How can he have both emotions so clearly on his face at once?

  “I’m sorry for the harm and the pain I caused you. I don’t even know why. I wish I could remember; maybe there is some logical, reasonable answer to why I would have done this to you.” I could feel the sadness in my face.

  “No Anya, this is my fault. I cannot hold you responsible for this. You are Anya, but not really the Anya I knew. I still feel the same draw as always, the same warmth, but you don’t have the memories or knowledge of the girl I knew. I’m sorry about the other night. Please say you’ll forgive me?” How could anyone deny him anything with that dejected look? Aw.

  “There is nothing to forgive, Nicholas. Truly. I’m not upset with you; I was upset that I had hurt you. What made it worse was the – the sensation, the longing that washed over me as you continued to explain things. It was very distracting and confusing. I still cannot explain what I felt . . .” I heard my voice trailing off, but the look he was giving me made it impossible to continue.

  “You felt a draw while I explained? Really? Maybe, maybe there is some of the girl I knew in there still.” There was a smirk playing around the edge of his lips.

  “Yes, really. Happy now?” I couldn’t help but stick my tongue out at him, not with that ridiculous smirk plastered on his face. Ugh, why does he have to be so . . .

  “Yes,” he crowed. “You have no idea how happy.” He suddenly wrenched me into a hug, swinging me around.

  “Um, Nicholas, put me down. Please.” I was thrilled with his delight but didn’t like being off the ground, and his touch was causing strange desires to twist within me.

  “Sorry, you’re right.” He set my feet on the floor but without letting go of my waist, holding me close to his body. “I just – I have missed you,” he whispered as he brought his right hand up to trace down my cheek gently.

  I wished I could remember him, as he seemed to remember me. It was terribly confusing and difficult to focus, or think, with him holding me. “I wish I could be that person for you, but . . .” But what? I craved this exchange with him, it was nearly painful to not give in but, I wasn’t ready for this with him, I barely even knew him again.

  “You’re right, sorry,” he said releasing me. His eyes had that strange light burning in them like the other night. Just the look he gave nearly caused my will to cave.

  As I pulled into my customary spot at school later that morning Skye, Kayla, and Declán greeted me.

  Declán was the first to speak, odd. “You do live? We were wondering if we’d scared you off already.” He was laughing before he got half way through speaking.

  “No, I just had to deal with some personal issues.

  “You should be happy to hear that my friend Nicholas has agreed to help balance the oestrogen levels a bit.” I smiled.

  Strangely, Declán didn’t seem as excited about this turn as I would have thought.

  “Don’t worry Declán; he will not hit on your girlfriend or your sister. I already warned him to behave.” I didn’t understand the peculiar look that fell between the three of them for the briefest of moments.

  “Oh, he’s not worried about that, Anya, are you?” Skye winked as she took his hand.

  “Um, no. I’m not worried your friend will steal my girl or endanger my sister.” He looked a little sour. “But, we should all get to class, yes?”

  We all agreed and headed off in our separate directions, Skye again walking with me to class. After class, as we headed toward the science department area she stopped me. “Anya, do you think we could all hang out for a bit after school? There’s something I want to show you.” There was a strange reluctance in her voice. Had I done something too nonhuman?

  “Sure, that shouldn’t be a problem. We can hang out.” I smiled working to make my smile assuring and confidant, though I didn’t truly feel that way.

  �
��Cool, then I’ll see you later! Bye.” With that, she bounded away to her class, leaving me at the door of my own, nervous and a little confused.

  Chapter Three

  “Hey guys. Where to now?” I asked as I met them next to my car. Again, they all slid into the back seat of the car.

  “Back to our house,” Kayla said quietly. “We can hang out till about six when our folks return. They don’t mind us having company but ‘family time’ is a ‘no friend’s zone.’”

  We rode in almost total silence. Odd for this group, but okay. Declán speaking only to give me directions. I wondered idly if I should be worried but hey, they’re only humans. There was no danger for me, from them . . . right? They didn’t know how to kill one of us.

  Once inside we settled in the front room. I hated having to get them to invite me in, aggravating! “Anya,” Skye began, “I know we’re probably acting a little odd, but we, all three of us, talked it over, and we think you should know the truth.” She looked meaningfully at Kayla and then Declán before speaking again.

  “We haven’t been completely honest with you about a couple of things, but I think that you can handle it fine.”

  Taking in a deep breath, Skye spoke again, “Declán isn’t actually my boyfriend. I know I said he was, but as you seem to notice everything, I figure if we don’t tell you now it could cause confusion, and possibly hurt feelings later.

  “Kayla and I are together, but none of us want to deal with the repercussions of who we are. Not yet. My parents wouldn’t approve, nor am I sure how well it’d go over with the student population.” Skye held her breath; they all did as they awaited my response to this news. Maybe I just don’t understand humans, but this, while unexpected, was not upsetting.

  “I’m not sure I completely understand everything but why are you so worried what I will think about the fact you and Kayla love each other? What difference does it make whom you love as long as you two are happy?” I would have to spend some time looking into this bizarre concept – fear of love . . . huh. They are both human so why should it matter?