Blood's Voice Read online

  I smiled apologetically as I led him upstairs to my room. “This is my room. I have cushions over here where we can sit and talk.” I led him over to my reading area which was really a small room attached to my bedroom, the walls filled with bookshelves, and plush cushions littered the floor. “Please, sit.”

  He sat almost as if I had commanded him, though I knew I hadn’t let my voice slip. He must be eager to hear what I wanted to talk about. “Anya, did you bring me over here to read me a story?” He was laughing; at least it wasn’t screaming.

  “No, silly boyo. I invited you over to talk and maybe work out a few things.” The knots in my stomach were becoming ridiculous.

  Slowly, he reached up to touch my face as he had the one time in his room. Mmm . . . “Careful, Declán. We can’t talk if you’re dazed.” That fragrance again, sensual yet delicious. Could he really accept me, care for me? The draw, the attraction, was nearly tangible in this craving. I could feel the desire building as I struggled to rein it in. A battle I knew I was losing.

  I closed my eyes and took a deep breath trying to centre my being and again win domination over myself. “I wanted to continue the discussion you keep trying to have with me. About your awareness when you touch me, my cool skin, and your insistence that both Nicholas and I are something other. Unless you’ve decided that your imagination is just a little wild?” I could hope . . .

  “No, my imagination isn’t this wild. I want to know what you’re keeping from me. We are alone now, right?” he asked, looking towards the door. “Does that mean you will finally tell me?” He looked so eager. How would he look when I was done?

  How could my stomach be doing flips? “I spoke to Nicholas last night, and he agreed I should give you the honesty you have asked of me.” Yes, I was mentally nauseous, ugh. “But I believe patience and understanding come from experience, not from sterile discussions.”

  “Ya lost me. Are you saying you’re going to tell me or that you are not willing to be open and honest with me?”

  “Declán, I am trying. You’re right; I’m not like other girls. I am not like other . . . humans you know. How to explain? Normal human girls are not cold. They cannot flawlessly hypnotize with nothing but their voice. They cannot outrun even the fastest animal without effort.

  “But I don’t see how labels will help either. For now, I will just say that I am forever frozen as you see me now. As much as I want you, I am not a good companion for you.”

  Understanding lit his gentle eyes. “You’re afraid I’ll run? I won’t. I don’t care, just be honest with me, please.”

  “You may change your mind in time. I risk your safety and life every time I get near you. I would never deliberately harm you, but my very presence is dangerous . . . to you especially.

  “I do not believe in harming humans, but you cannot even touch me without problems. Even more of a problem is that I crave your touch, among other things.” Did he understand yet? Would he fear me?

  “I don’t understand, Anya. Why do you think you’ll hurt me just by being near me?”

  No, he didn’t. Would he really make me use the crude words that Star and Nicholas used to describe us? Yes, he would if he could make me.

  “Declán, have you ever seen me eat or drink anything? Do I not stand out to you at all as something not right? You pointed out that Nicholas and I are something other. Can you really not understand why I fear telling you, or worse, fear your reaction?”

  “No, I haven’t, but that’s one of the many things on my list of weird things about you. I’ve been trying to figure it out, but I simply can’t.” How could he be calm? It was maddening! “Anya, you look positively ill. Are you sure you’re okay?” His worry was so sweet. Would he still be concerned when he knew the truth?

  “Please, listen to what all I have told you and then tell me if you can truly not think of why I am having issues with explaining all this to you.” I could hear the edge in my voice, I knew it would affect him, but this is what I wanted. Really. “Please know that it is only fear that strangles the words within me. Once I say it, I will not be able to take it back.” I smiled, sadly, allowing my fangs to show, fully extended.

  His curiosity was only slightly marred by fear. “Anya, what do you live on?” he asked quietly.

  “Blood.

  “The blood of animals, not humans,” I quickly qualified. “As I said before, I don’t believe in harming humans, not even to live.”

  He swallowed hard, seeming to have trouble remembering how. I could hear his heart racing in an uneven dance I had never heard before. “You’re a . . . a-a vampire?”

  Looking down, unable to bear seeing the fear and disgust he would finally feel, I simply whispered, “Yes.”

  His breath caught and then he was up on his knees trying to turn my face up towards him. But, of course, he forgot he couldn’t touch me like that. Great, dazed again. I just cannot win. It was so maddening!

  Again, I touched his face and called to him to return to me. The look that crossed his face when he awoke was so strange. What was he thinking?

  He spoke as if no time had passed. “If that’s true then why hang out with us? Vampires kill humans in all the stories. Aren’t we like food or something?” The lack of proper fear was exasperating. How can he be so calm?

  “Nicholas, his parents, and I are unique among out kind. We do not take human life to live, as I said before. We are bizarre as we each seem to have a conscious and a heart.” I explained as best I knew.

  “Wait, how is it the sun does nothing to you?”

  I laughed in spite of my dread. “That’s an interesting myth. So many are wrong, but they are entertaining, and I suppose, add a layer of protection for those like me, just as I don’t have large fangs hanging from my mouth all the time. I don’t even have a coffin.” Humans are funny. “We can all walk in the light, as your Dracula could. I do powder my skin when I’m going to be in bright light, to help counter the luminous effect on my skin though.

  “Right now my question to you is this . . . can you accept me as I am or would you rather I take you home and not bother you again?” Fear. Pain. What would he decide?

  I couldn’t look away from his eyes as he spoke. “I don’t care what you are. It doesn’t change how I feel.”

  “Declán, I have no experience with relationships or humans. I don’t know how. I’m so . . . frightened by the danger I pose to you. We also have the problem of you not being able to touch me.”

  “Don’t worry. We will find a way. Can none of you be touched without problems or is it just you, well you and Nicholas? I vaguely remember loosing time in the park with him.” He was so sure of himself. How can he be taking all this so calmly?

  “You remember that, do you?

  “It is definitely not normal. He was more freaked out by your reaction than I was. He had never seen someone do that. No one can figure out why you react that way, though I believe I know why you reacted that way to him. Nicholas does have a theory on how to stop it from happening but . . .”

  “A theory on how to allow me to touch you?” he interrupted. “What is it?” His eyes lit up at the thought.

  Shaking my head, “I cannot bind you to me like that without knowing definitively that that’s what you want. Once we love something or someone, it’s for as long as we exist, that is not true of your kind. Relationships are transitory things for humans.

  “As it stands right now, we cannot even be together publicly. Just your knowledge will alter how you respond to me from now on. That reaction alone could risk your covering for Kayla and Skye. I don’t want to be a cause of strife for them. I like them too. I have Nicholas’s blessing for this, but I don’t think your sister will be too happy if they get ‘outed’ because of us.”

  “Wait, you asked Nicholas about all of this? He’s okay with my knowing about him?” Now he shows his nerves? Humans seriously are confusing creatures.

  “He’s known about my interest in you since the beginning. He’
s concerned but accommodating. As I said, he even came up with an idea of how to help you with our little contact issue.”

  “You did mention that, true. Why is he worried? Shouldn’t I be the one worried? The girl I’m interested in, hangs out with a guy that turns all the girls’ heads and more than a few of the guys?” He was so focused on his wording; I wondered what he had originally intended to say.

  “He is worried about the pain you could cause me. He’s also a little worried that you will object to how close we are and become a wedge between us. And as one of the few others of my kind that has respect and love for humans, he fears I might accidentally hurt you due to my strength or my voice.”

  “He’s worried I’ll try to come between your friendship? Seriously? Why? He’s been great any time I’ve seen him. He even dealt with my confusion the night you took off leaving him with the girls. I mean, I can see he’s obviously very close to you, but really, he can’t see me as a threat. Can he?” He was so cute when nervous.

  “Our relationship is complicated. However, he doesn’t have a problem with you and me, no need to worry. He will not harm you.”

  “Complicated? Uh, okay.” I could see him beginning to struggle with the overload of information and understanding. He went quiet again, not like when he touched me. His eyes weren’t empty but rather exhausted.

  The minutes ticked by again. How long could he sit there like that? “Declán? I fear I have told you more than you can really absorb in one night. I should probably take you home before this becomes too much for you, though you’re doing amazingly well.”

  He still didn’t speak even though he looked at me with moving eyes at least.

  Finally, he did speak. “Anya, are you sure you want someone like me? I mean, I’m not like you. I am not like your friend Nicholas. I know what I want but . . .”

  “Declán, I will not change my mind, it is about your heart and mind that I worry. That and the simple fact I have no experience with relationships. And . . . relationships seem to be so transitory for humans. I see how quickly things change between most and that worries me as well.

  “But Declán, you have a curfew, and we have school in the morning. I should take you home before I do something really stupid.”

  Chapter Six

  I met them at school the next morning, nervous to see how Declán would treat to me. Had he told Skye or Kayla anything about last night or about me?

  “Morning Anya,” Skye called as they came over. “How was your weekend?” A smile played at the edges of her mouth. She was trying not to smile so whatever he’d said was not scary at least – I hoped.

  “It was pleasant, thank you.” Skye and Kayla giggled again. “What are you two giggling about? Did I miss something?”

  “Oh, we’re just wondering what you two did this weekend, but he won’t spill. He does turn the most amusing shades of red when we pry, though.” Skye nudged Declán as she said this and, sure enough, he flushed a magnificent burgundy.

  I dropped my voice to a whisper and leaned in so only they could hear. “Should we really be discussing this at school where others might take notice?” Curiosity was fine and all to a point but really!

  They were both beaming as Kayla continued. “Probably not but well, he won’t tell so we figure we have to appeal to your sensibilities as a female to get answers.”

  “Ah, I see. Well, I really don’t know what to tell you. Truly, we just hung out and talked a lot. We didn’t do anything too risqué.” I couldn’t help but smile as I thought about how that was entirely true and yet so completely not. It’s not what we did, but what was said that was risky, but they didn’t need to know that.

  “Fine, fine. We’ll leave you to your secrets, for now. We all need to get to class anyway.” Skye grabbed my arm and pulled me toward our first class. I caught annoyance flash across Declán’s face before he turned to head to his first class. He noticed she touched me . . . when he could not.

  I could hardly wait for school to be over that day. I so desperately wanted to speak with Declán and find out what he was thinking and feeling. He obviously hadn’t decided I was something to fear, not with how he was acting that morning or during our one class together.

  That evening raced by without us being able to steal away any real time to talk, but he didn’t treat me as something frightening. Actually, he seemed happier and more certain around me than he had prior. I left unsatisfied, but his parents were strict on their ‘family’ time.

  The week sped by with little chance at alone time. We all hung out after school at their home, Nicholas even came over and visited with my humans some. I was sorely tempted to use Nicholas’s window trick to visit after hours, so we could talk, but that seemed like a very dangerous idea, so I waited, impatiently, for the weekend.

  I could hear and feel him before he landed lightly in my window. “Hi, Nicholas. How was your evening?”

  “Fine,” he chimed, sliding in and settling next to where I was reading. “Wanted to come hang out for a while with my favourite Anya.” Nicholas’s smile was so enchanting; well, all of him was, really.

  “Because you know so many Anya’s I suppose,” I said pulling him down to where I was sitting. “You’re silly.”

  “Yeah, I know.”

  “Missed you today. Thought you were going to come by earlier.” I found I missed him more and more lately when he wasn’t around. The craving for him was not letting up; even with all the stress and worried focus I was putting into starting a relationship with Declán.

  “Sorry love, I was helping Jonathan with some things. But, I’m here now.” He gently cupped my face in his hand as he spoke.

  In that moment, I was suddenly overwhelmed with that strange desire for Nicholas, for sharing. Without thought or true awareness, I didn’t even try to fight the craving for him this time. I pulled him into my arms, drawing his body close to mine as I gently raised his face with my right hand. Nicholas’s eyes glazed over, and suddenly I felt his lips on my wrist. First kissing and then biting, drinking in the hot, ruby liquid that was spilling in through his gentle lips.

  He was clinging to me just as I was clinging to him. After a moment, my lips were caressing his throat and the blood that he was drawing from me was suddenly pouring back into me. From the very core of my being, I was drawing in the blood from him just as he was gulping down mine.

  In that eternal moment, nothing else existed, not life, not the world around us, nothing. The only thing that mattered was the sensation, the passion, the existence that flowed between us.

  I have no idea how long we were like this, but eventually my sanity began to return and I pulled, reluctantly, from his throat. I had to draw my wrist back from Nicholas; the light of madness did not recede from his eyes until I released him and slid him away.

  Gently pulling Nicholas to the bed, I sat facing him and waited for his eyes to calm, and his mind to again rein within him. I caressed his face repeatedly as I waited. Though his eyes cooled his reason did not return, he simply continued to sit, unmoving, unseeing. Hours passed that way. I became concerned I had somehow harmed him by giving in to the craving, into what he so desperately seemed to want. He was, after all, the one that usually pulled me into his arms, tickling my neck as he kissed and nibbled – nearly driving me insane.

  I could still feel him coursing through me, just as I could feel a part of me within him. It was the most surreal sensation, self within both of us. As time moved forward I began to truly despair, scared that he might not awake from his strange, imprisoned slumber.

  Moving off the bed, I went to the door. “Star? Can you come here, please?”

  After a few moments, Star appeared at my door showing no sign she had any idea that behind me sat an immortal trapped within his own being.

  “Star, I am worried about Nicholas. He hasn’t moved in hours, and I cannot rouse him from his motionless state. Not even when I came to find you did he move.” I pulled her gently into my room to show her.

>   She stood next to the bed and tried, vainly, to awake him.

  “Anya, I think we need to call Jonathan and Amber. I have never seen or heard of a vampire acting in such a manner.”

  I dug out his cell and dialled the number for Amber.

  “Amber? I urgently need your help!”

  “What’s wrong Anya?”

  “Nicholas hasn’t moved in hours, and neither Star nor I can rouse him from his slumber-like daze. He just sits, unmoving, unseeing . . .”

  “Has he been hurt? What happened to him?” I could hear her frantic voice calling Jonathan to her as well.

  “We, well . . . I’ll explain when you get here. Please hurry!” My voice was getting frantic again.

  “Where are you now?” she asked in a rushed, strained voice.

  “Star’s. Up in my room. Hurry, please!”

  “We are on our way!” Click.

  “Star, Amber and Jonathan are on their way, now. Please, send them up as soon as they arrive.”

  Star conceded and left. Not a full minute later I heard them outside. “They’re coming up to the door now.”

  A few more moments and they were both standing in my doorway. Amber rushed over to Nicholas. You could nearly feel the panic and worry emanate from her as she sat and began trying to awake him.

  Jonathan was a bit more composed. He turned to me with piercing eyes and began his own questions. “What happened to him? What did you do?”

  “I gave him what he wanted, but since I pulled away he has not moved. At first his eyes were wild, but even that stopped.” I wasn’t sure if he understood or not, but I had to hope. My voice went from desperate to weeping the moment my eyes again rested on his frozen form.

  “What exactly did you ‘give in to?’ What were you two doing when he became catatonic?”

  I looked down, not knowing how either of them would react if I explained; he said it was very rare for any to do. Would they approve or be angry?

  “Er, he had become upset a while back, while you two were out hunting. He was distressed that I had joined blood with someone during the time I was missing. He said we had promised not to share with anyone else. While I was trying to understand and reconcile my lack of memory to his obvious pain, I felt a strange pull for him . . . a nearly painful craving.” I could not bring myself to look up, certain that were I human, my face would have been flame-red.